This is a site dedicated to People of color finding their way in the B.D.S.M and Kink lifestyle. Everything on this site is for and from the perspective of people of color. We promote unity, connection, and becoming as one in the B.D.S.M and kink lifestyle.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
The Beauty of The Ball Gag
The ball gag is a common toy used in the B.D.S.M community. It is one of those things that has no gray area, you ether love it or hate it. I can tell you this very small and unassuming sex toy carries a vary deep psychological exchange between the Sub & the Dom. The most satisfying of these exchanges is that it allows the Sub to fully let go vocally. Meaning they can scream and moan as loud as they want but still be restrained and heavily subdued. As for the Dom the act of subduing the moans and screams while taking a Sub into multiple orgasms can be rather intoxicating. So in short enduring a session of forced orgasm with a ball gag can be more then quite satisfying for both the Dom & Sub. I don't want to forget to and that the sex appeal of a Sub in a ball gag is quite the turn on to most Dom's, not to mention that the amount of spit (saliva) produced by wearing a ball gag is some what a aphrodisiac for most Dom's (myself included). So to anyone who has not tried one out I suggest giving it a go. It might just add something you never know was missing.
Top Ten Bondage Positions #10
10. The cradle
The cradle is an old favorite that I like to use every once and a while. This is a great bondage position when you want to deliver an orally stimulated orgasm punishment. As you can see from the picture she is in a restrained that doesn't allow for to much movement, besides a futile roll from side to side. This is also a good position to use in the beginning of a B.D.S.M relationship. It gives a sub a scene of protection because of the fetal position. The sub can curl up more by bringing there head to their knees but that doesn't cover or make the genitals inaccessible to you. It is one of those positions that makes a sub secure and venerable at the same time.
The cradle is an old favorite that I like to use every once and a while. This is a great bondage position when you want to deliver an orally stimulated orgasm punishment. As you can see from the picture she is in a restrained that doesn't allow for to much movement, besides a futile roll from side to side. This is also a good position to use in the beginning of a B.D.S.M relationship. It gives a sub a scene of protection because of the fetal position. The sub can curl up more by bringing there head to their knees but that doesn't cover or make the genitals inaccessible to you. It is one of those positions that makes a sub secure and venerable at the same time.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Orgasm control for sub/slave is an extremely vital part of their training.
How Bondage and Multiple Orgasms Could Enforce Control of Your Submissive.
Orgasm Control
In another article we discussed the way orgasm control is used to
increase the control a dominant has over his or her submissive. Control
over a person's right to sexual release leads to a very strong bond of
interdependence between the two parties. Orgasm control also has another
element to it in BDSM - that of forced orgasm. What is a forced orgasm
and why would this be a tool of dominance? Before we answer that
question we are going to look at exactly what an orgasm is and how we
can make sure that orgasm really is achieved. 52% of women have faked
and continues to fake orgasms today. The dominant needs to know what to
look for in order to use this tool properly. We will then look at how we
achieve a forced orgasm.
What exactly is an orgasm?What! You think we don't know? Well if you know how to identify it, take this as a refresher or contact my dominant and make him make me pay for this flagrant abuse of power. Anyway, during the female orgasm the body stiffens and muscles in the vagina, uterus and or other parts of the body such as the arms, legs, back or stomach contract involuntarily. Due to an increase in heartbeat the skin may look flushed and the genitals seem engorged. The glands of the vagina discharge a watery secretion that lubricates the area and sometimes this secretion seem to "squirt" out of the woman especially when the g-spot has been stimulated. Women can have multiple orgasms following each other in quick succession.
The male orgasm is seemingly much harder to fake as the male ejaculates a milky white substance on release. The pelvic thrusts of the male become less controlled, heart rate and blood flow increases and some muscle spasms may be felt in other parts of the body. Some men report only having the psychological orgasm after ejaculation and some men even report that they can have orgasms without ejaculation. Males generally need a period of rest before being able to orgasm again.
In most cases orgasm is vocal and the sense of release is often accompanied by less than elegant grunts or screams for both men and women.
How is orgasm achieved?
No, I don't think you guys are clueless. I aim to inform as best I can. One of the main ways of achieving or causing orgasm is by stimulating the penis or the clitoris or g-spot in women. This can be done by use of vibrators, masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, non-penetrative sex, erotic electro stimulation, spanking etc. Orgasm in women can also be achieved by stimulation of any other erogenous zone or using psychological stimulation.
How is forced orgasm achieved and what exactly is it?
Forced orgasm is when the dominant brings the submissive to an orgasm while the submissive attempts to delay that orgasm for as long as they can. After the first orgasm the dominant will normally continue the process and cause multiple orgasms despite the discomfort a female submissive will feel, as her genitals might be sensitive. Males will be continually stimulated despite the period of rest that would normally be required after an orgasm.
How is this normally done? Well, the submissive could be tied down in order for the genitals to be accessible and the submissive should not be able to move much. Then the dominant could use any of the techniques mentioned earlier in the article to cause continual orgasm.
Why is forced orgasm such an attractive option for both dominants and submissives?
For the submissive forced orgasm is a wonderful experience because he or she knows that release follows even when discomfort is felt in between. It plays on the pleasure and pain principles that are central to quite lot of erotic stimulation in BDSM. The submissive can also relax and has no need to feel shame, as he or she has no control over the orgasm or when it happens. The submissive can just be submissive and safe. The submissive with sexual guilt issues can express their sexuality freely in this way and this will help that submissive to experience sex differently and much more positively.
The dominant partner will have different reasons for being attracted to this form of play. The aim might be to cause the submissive to become addicted to orgasm in order to pave the way for a period of orgasm denial. Remember that orgasm denial can be achieved in a variety of ways that are detailed in another article of mine like teasing and tying, teasing and denying and chastity devices. During orgasm denial no orgasms are allowed anymore. The dominant partner might also want to use this form of play as punishment for a submissive partner that cannot control their own sexual impulses and cannot obey rules on masturbation.
The control factor is a head rush for most dominants and the physical reactions of the submissive cause arousal and excitement for the dominant partner too.
As with all BDSM activities a safe word can be used to stop all activities.
By Bea Amor
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Thoughts on Aftercare by FoolsGypsy
Aftercare is different for everyone, some people need alot others need barely anything. Here are some aftercare tips we use.
What does the acronym B.D.S.M stand for?
What does the acronym B.D.S.M stand for? well lets break it down shall we.
1. Bondage and Discipline (B&D or B/D)
2. Dominance and Submission (D&S or D/s)
3. Sadomasochism or Sadism and Masochism (S&M or S/M)
4. Submissive / Slave & Master (S&M or S/M)
So what ever type of B.D.S.M you find yourself being satisfied by it will be a mix or aspect of 1 or 2 or all of these aspects
1. Bondage and Discipline (B&D or B/D)
2. Dominance and Submission (D&S or D/s)
3. Sadomasochism or Sadism and Masochism (S&M or S/M)
4. Submissive / Slave & Master (S&M or S/M)
So what ever type of B.D.S.M you find yourself being satisfied by it will be a mix or aspect of 1 or 2 or all of these aspects
Ten Commandments for Submissives
1) Be Patient
A potential top will let you know if she or he is interested in you or not. Keep in mind that your purpose as a submissive is to serve and to satisfy someone who will take into consideration the realization of your fantasies. Don't expect your top to be able to turn on like a light switch. The timing must be right for both of you.
2) Be Humble
You may be God's or Goddess' gift to the world and the most sought after prize in town, but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunity to show how good you are. No matter what you claim, the "real you" will show through in a scene. Don't set yourself up for failure by developing expectations that you know you and your top can never reach.
3) Be Open
You can learn something about SM and about yourself from everyone into the scene, no matter how experienced or inexperienced they are, or how dominant or submissive they are. SM is a very personal art, and an "I already know it all" attitude will make you miss valuable SM lessons and experiences, and ignore potentially valuable SM friends.
4) Communicate
Verbalization is necessary, but at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way. Your top needs to know basic information about you, such as experiences, fantasies, health concerns, and turn-offs. But -unless it's an emergency - wait until your top asks. Don't expect your dominant to be a mind-reader instinctively knows your needs, wants, and limits. Your cooperation will enhance the scene for both of you.
5) Be Honest
Don't be afraid to share your needs and fantasies. Your dominant expects it. Honesty about your wants, health concerns, and turn-offs is essential to a good scene. Lying or being less than candid can only lead to problems, as the top will base the scene on inaccurate information. Besides causing problems, it can be dangerous.
6) Be Vulnerable
Your scene is a two-way street. It is not just the physical realization of your prior fantasies. If you want to limit your experience to certain physical and psychological stimulation, then contract with your top ahead of time. But don't always expect your top to be a puppet in a fantasy play you've written in your head. It's far better to let your top surprise you, to extend your limits, to take you to places you're never been before. When you trust your top completely, let her or him know it, and let him or her guide you into new fantasies.
7) Be Realistic
Your dominant is human, and even the most experienced tops have moments of awkwardness and indecision. Don't call attention to what you perceive as a lapse. Know the difference between reality and the fantasy world you see in books and magazines. Few tops are rich enough to afford a large dungeon with a lavish layout of equipment...Your top's equipment is expensive - respect it and don't abuse it.
8) Be Really Submissive
This is the whole point. Let your dominant take you over completely. Don't coach or second guess or be critical of your top. Exchange information on your special needs before the scene starts, but once it starts be quiet! If you insist on running a scene to your own specifications, then you should try being a top. You have agreed to limitations of your own power. Stay within those limitations. Respect and obey your top and expect punishment if you don't. Accept it gracefully and cheerfully. Your top has many things to be concerned with, including your safety and what turns you on. Be loyal and dependable and enjoy your role.
9) Be Healthy
SM, like any strenuous activity, requires that its participants - both active and passive - be in top physical and emotional health. The amount you sleep, your eating habits, your alcohol and drug intake, and everyday stress affect your response and endurance during a scene. Your dominant needs to know when your physical or emotional energy is low. No matter how tempting a scene sounds, an "I want it all now" attitude when you aren't able to give your all will leave both of you feeling let down. You serve your dominant and yourself by staying healthy.
10) Have Fun
After all, sex is all about having a good time. You have earned and you are entitled to the unique, intense pleasure which comes from responsible, creative SM play.
A potential top will let you know if she or he is interested in you or not. Keep in mind that your purpose as a submissive is to serve and to satisfy someone who will take into consideration the realization of your fantasies. Don't expect your top to be able to turn on like a light switch. The timing must be right for both of you.
2) Be Humble
You may be God's or Goddess' gift to the world and the most sought after prize in town, but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunity to show how good you are. No matter what you claim, the "real you" will show through in a scene. Don't set yourself up for failure by developing expectations that you know you and your top can never reach.
3) Be Open
You can learn something about SM and about yourself from everyone into the scene, no matter how experienced or inexperienced they are, or how dominant or submissive they are. SM is a very personal art, and an "I already know it all" attitude will make you miss valuable SM lessons and experiences, and ignore potentially valuable SM friends.
4) Communicate
Verbalization is necessary, but at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way. Your top needs to know basic information about you, such as experiences, fantasies, health concerns, and turn-offs. But -unless it's an emergency - wait until your top asks. Don't expect your dominant to be a mind-reader instinctively knows your needs, wants, and limits. Your cooperation will enhance the scene for both of you.
5) Be Honest
Don't be afraid to share your needs and fantasies. Your dominant expects it. Honesty about your wants, health concerns, and turn-offs is essential to a good scene. Lying or being less than candid can only lead to problems, as the top will base the scene on inaccurate information. Besides causing problems, it can be dangerous.
6) Be Vulnerable
Your scene is a two-way street. It is not just the physical realization of your prior fantasies. If you want to limit your experience to certain physical and psychological stimulation, then contract with your top ahead of time. But don't always expect your top to be a puppet in a fantasy play you've written in your head. It's far better to let your top surprise you, to extend your limits, to take you to places you're never been before. When you trust your top completely, let her or him know it, and let him or her guide you into new fantasies.
7) Be Realistic
Your dominant is human, and even the most experienced tops have moments of awkwardness and indecision. Don't call attention to what you perceive as a lapse. Know the difference between reality and the fantasy world you see in books and magazines. Few tops are rich enough to afford a large dungeon with a lavish layout of equipment...Your top's equipment is expensive - respect it and don't abuse it.
8) Be Really Submissive
This is the whole point. Let your dominant take you over completely. Don't coach or second guess or be critical of your top. Exchange information on your special needs before the scene starts, but once it starts be quiet! If you insist on running a scene to your own specifications, then you should try being a top. You have agreed to limitations of your own power. Stay within those limitations. Respect and obey your top and expect punishment if you don't. Accept it gracefully and cheerfully. Your top has many things to be concerned with, including your safety and what turns you on. Be loyal and dependable and enjoy your role.
9) Be Healthy
SM, like any strenuous activity, requires that its participants - both active and passive - be in top physical and emotional health. The amount you sleep, your eating habits, your alcohol and drug intake, and everyday stress affect your response and endurance during a scene. Your dominant needs to know when your physical or emotional energy is low. No matter how tempting a scene sounds, an "I want it all now" attitude when you aren't able to give your all will leave both of you feeling let down. You serve your dominant and yourself by staying healthy.
10) Have Fun
After all, sex is all about having a good time. You have earned and you are entitled to the unique, intense pleasure which comes from responsible, creative SM play.
Practicing my slave Positions - Skin Diamond
So I'm currently training as a slave for
www.trainingofo.com at the KINK.com armory and some people expressed
interest on what the 12 slave positions that I'm learning look like.
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